This was something "younger me"
wrote for herself
2 years ago.
It really touched me because somehow during these past 2 years, I seemed to have forgotten this!
I ended up being very terrified of life
and filled with rage
because of how despite all my efforts it still seemed like I was progressing very slowly
and yet pressured by my environment
and being told that "I'm doing my life wrong"
, that "I'd better do as they say because clearly they think I have no idea what I'm doing"
and that drove me crazy and drowned me into a hell lot of overthinking
See, I'm not the kind of person to believe what people say about me. I'm totally aware that my intentions are what really count
and not what people think I'm trying to do
! I love myself and I respect it. I also trust that when I give something my all and fail, it's not something I should hate myself for! I'd get up every time and try over and over again but then if I realize this thing is of no use to me, I'd start searching for something else, something useful. That's when some people would start telling you not to give up and weird stuff like "you just didn't try hard, don't be stupid and quit after all this time! Just push yourself to the max" sort of stuff. The stuff most people memorize from posts all over the internet and then use it as an advice for everyone they come across! like:
Person A:"I done trying to be friends with this girl, she's very mean! I'd like to spend my time with someone nice instead!" Person B: "
you just didn't try hard, don't be stupid and quit after all this time! Just push yourself to the max"
Fish: "I'm sorry, I quit! I don't have what it takes to climb this tree!"
Person B: "you just didn't try hard, don't be stupid and quit after all this time! Just push yourself to the max"
Shadow: "Dude! how many time's do I have to tell you! I can't be where the light is!"
Person B: "YOU just didn't TRY HARD, don't be STUPID and quit after all this time! Just push yourself to the MAX"
Sometimes, this is the golden advice but as long as my advisors aren't experienced enough themselves, I'd think a lot about my other options and choices before taking their advice as my only way out (Especially, If their advice is not to do what I love and waste my life pursuing something I hate just to be accepted by society's standards). Yet, after having these words told to me almost everyday, I unintentionally started to panic and ask myself "What if they're right?" which made me freeze and focus more on what could happen
instead of focusing on improving myself
! Thankfully, my "Younger self"
's words brought me back to my senses, I realized my rage
towards their words vanishes
when I think it's of no value
, I also realized that instead of focusing on that it'll be way more fruitful to focus on improving myself
and prove them wrong
See, My point is: Even if people are hurting you, even if you seem to be deep in no where. It's always up to you to remember that people don't control you, that their words don't matter and that it's your choice to give up, feel bad about what they say and stay where you are or to keep moving forward until you reach where you want to go, be a boss and prove them wrong!
You are strong! stronger than what you think! and your choices are where your strength lies.
I'll be forever grateful, younger me! Thank you ♥